How has life treated you, or more importantly, how are you treating your life?
This week I come to share a self-empowering moment with the "let go" process. The question is, why do we feel the need to have everything under "our control"? The only results that we can influence are those that, in some way, life, the universe or God is in charge? That is, not much really. Did you realize that everything you try to control, enslaves you and therefore tends to hurt you when eventually moves away? Most of the time, we make our lives so difficult by incorporating emotional needs, confusing our demands with care.
Let me share an example of this. Some time ago, I was hearing the concerns of a colleague, she was a single mother, facing an emotional dilemma. She was talking about her son being an ungrateful “teenager”, and spoke of the pain she felt with his words, in his cries for freedom. It was time for him to leave home, spread his wings, and to start a new life somewhere else. She continued in her conversation, showing signs of fragility in her arguments and explanations - she was sincerely suffering.
I thought, "There she is. I've seen this scene before, a single mother having trouble separating herself from her offspring”. She was afraid to live her life on her own, and could not release what she no longer had control of. How painful to see so much love becoming a source of sorrows! When she finally turned to me to ask what I thought about her son, her face got shocked, with a distant and empty look for a few minutes, hearing me reply:
"Do you know that letting go is self-empowering? I am more concerned with you, than with him."At first, she stayed there, probably having an epiphany, trying to process what I just said. Then she behaved like anyone who is reluctant to see the truth, repeating herself a few times, trying to convince me of her point of views, as if I had not heard from the first time, what her mind and soul was crying out. I let her talk for a while - she needed that therapy time. Until she asked me again, "do you understand me, now?".
This time I replied, "Yes, more than you realize, but, before I tell you what I think about your son, let me tell you, my concerns about the pain I can see in your soul. A pain which you could release it if you so want. Just listen to me for a few minutes." I have attracted her attention, and with tear-filled eyes, she finally sat down with a tired look. Then I said:
"Self-acceptance and acceptance of changes in general are the fundamental mechanisms of a wise soul to deal with the farewells of life. Thus, not leaving them with the feeling of loss, but with a sense of mission accomplished. It's time for you, the woman that you are, to pick up the reins of that girl left behind when you got pregnant, and shine again, but this time by yourself, until someone comes to complement you. You now have a duty to unite your fragmented self.”She sat silently waiting for more, and before she asked me, what that had to do with her son? I continued: "I feel your pain, and I understand your worries, but the pain that hurts me most is what I see in your eyes. The pain of a woman who put all her life on a hanger, to become the protective mother, thinking this is how was going to be, for her entire life. The pain of someone who has stopped believing that her life can also be very rewarding in her sole presence. You may not agree with what I am saying now, but please do reflect upon this:
When you do realize that life is in constant renewal, and those changes are the oil that lubricates the advancement of the universe. When you realize this, you will see how powerful it is to become your whole self again. This is when you will be able to attract the loved ones integrally. If you can deeply see that all suffering comes from the resistance of letting go of something or someone, all the pain that I see in your eyes now, will disappear one day. And no, it is not selfishness - No one will judge or love you less for this, on the contrary, this truth empowers and unite us.Everything and everyone on our path has its due date, and no matter if it was for a long or short time, what really matters is the impression you left or the one your soul received. It is vital to disperse, move and change the energies so that new things and people take its place. Your child will always be your child. But your son needs you to be yourself. Now it is my turn to ask, "Do you understand me?"
Having a lot to think about, we said goodbye. She was very grateful, and I also noticed a different gleam in her gaze. Dear ones, I get not tired of repeating;
There is nothing more powerful than self-acceptance. Life becomes more meaningful when you allow your true & whole self shine.Have a lovely week ahead. Peace & Love for all.
Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash