Depressive Minds

Everything seems to stand still when we wait. Days lose its brilliance, nights lose its mysteries, people lose its interest, things lose its grace, and life may loses its value. Then comes depression, and with its inactions erodes and rusts your best motives and intentions, obscuring your thoughts and your vision, which almost imperceptibly also misrepresents your reality. And so, slowly it takes away its reason, its meaning, its goals and your joy of living.

Initially, your escapes will be characterised by fair excuses, which will slowly undermine the clarity and ability to reflect on the events of your life. And the apologies over time become your gateway, your initial armour, a fragile shield of protection. Until total seclusion is perceived as natural, acceptable, comfortable and normal, for after all, life no longer gives you meaning outside of this new reality.

Your start to see the outside world as deluded savages, those who force you into a system that you no longer feel like to be part of it, the community survival system. And though you feel comfort in this seclusion, something will always be missing in the new world. There will always be a hidden desire for salvation.

As surprising as it may seem, it will also be sunny days in this darkness, for in loneliness sleeps a needy heart, which though accustomed to its melancholy, intimately cry out for help.

However, taking the first steps will be the rungs of the most giant ladder of your life. Where the short-weakened legs by almost nonexistent willpower will hesitate to venture the uphill.

Oh! how confusing is the universe of a depressive state of mind. There you self recognise living the sadness sometimes without explanation. There it will lie inertia, paralysing you in uncertainty, in hurt, and in self pity. There, you get trapped in the refuge of yourself. But is also there where the answers will be found, and the whys of the silent tears will be revealed, if you allow yourself be helped in understanding what have led you there.

There are so many reveries caged in the labyrinths that the mind has built through the pains of the soul, that the well gets deeper and deeper, the walls get higher and higher, and, If you do not wake up in time from this dark night of the soul, your true essence is lost in the pitchblack of the disordered mind, and of sadness.

Life in its perfection, and in spite of you, it passes without giving or waiting for consolation if you shut yourself. But what drives a depressive to continue living, and what drives an optimist to die? They are halves of the same coin, unity of the the most simple and sublime elemental truth of our spirit...Love, and only Love! The depressive suffocates it in himself, but love is his true pursuit, while the optimist will die without it, for he lives love in its fullness.

By Jacky Sewell

Note: This text I wrote in late 2014, after coming out of a deep depression. Today, I found the text in my old notebooks and writings, and decided to publish it.

The Divine Order in Chaos

The frequency of each human being affects and alters all organisms on our planet. All forms, including the human form, are being shaped by the mentality of each individual through the emanations of their beliefs, emotions, actions, thoughts and words.

Consequently, the collective frequency of the planet affects the way nature responds by causing natural catastrophes, the emergence of new types of physical illnesses, emotional disturbances, and the current differences in our world will become much more evident, provoking reflections on antagonistic, prejudiced, corrupt and deceitful behaviors, which are no longer in tune with the majority.

However, the natural laws of the universe, like the law of "Cause and Effect", intertwined with the law of "Universal Love", use the so-called chaos to drain the disharmonious vibrations that are leading the world to experience extremist point of views nourished by a false separatism, due to the emotional immaturity of humanity.

While for many it may seem like the end (and it may worsen, so that it can improve), this is actually the process by which we must pass, so that the much needed and anticipated change in the collective consciousness occurs. However, this should not be confused with an apocalyptic end.

Although it may seem subtle, the frequencies emanated by those already awakened to divine laws are more powerful than can be comprehended, for these invisible forces are the true drivers and catalysts of the shift that our whole world is experiencing today.

These seemingly subtler frequencies are transforming the present evident state of chaos into a higher order of all things, and all of those who do not integrate by raising their vibrations in tune with this change will feel their full strength!

By Jacqueline Sewell

Depression - The Dark Night of the Soul !

Hello Divine Sparks,

Here I am back again, this week I'm here to talk to you about a very delicate subject, and share a little of my experience. There are several internal, external, physical, and emotional causes that lead one to the experience of the "dark night of the soul" - that is how I often refer to what we call "Depression."

The psychologists say that, there are ten main symptoms of depression:
1. Constant sadness;
2. Pessimism, hopelessness:
3. Guilt and low self-esteem;
4. Disinterest and apathy;
5. Lack of energy, tiredness;
6. Sleep disorders;
7. Anxiety and Irritation;
8. Isolation;
9. Negligence with appearance and personal hygiene;
10. Chronic Symptoms - That is, most of the symptoms that occurs for a period of three weeks or more, is a sign that you are suffering from Depression.

They are the symptoms, but not the actual factors that lead to depression. Each case with its own causes, today I will speak of mine, in the hope of shedding some light.

Before that, I have to warn, depression does not always manifest itself in the form of these symptoms. There are people who so strongly suppress their sadness that they mask it. 

Those who read my book (Detachments) can identify patterns of behaviours and events that have in fact influenced my path one way or another. On closer analysis, I believe that our emotional immaturity, the poorly resolved emotional problems since childhood, are great factors in all delusions, which makes an individual lose faith in himself and in life.

I placed high expectations not only on myself, but on how the events of my life should be. All based on a naive point of view, full of hidden pains, where I built my strong and fearless character. However, all structures that are not made on solid terrain, which are built with seemingly strong mud bricks, give a false sense of confidence and security, but one day they give in.

So when all four main pillars for a balanced life collapsed at the same time on me - 1. Health, 2. Relationships, 3. Finance, and my 4. Spirituality shaken; The true self has been revealed, the one I have tried to hide since the tragic event I witnessed in my childhood. There she was, that frail child, who unconsciously sabotaged all my ideals.

Then days became nights, where I could see myself slowly deepening into the darkest night of my soul. Admitting this was even more difficult than facing all my losses.  I got into deep depression for almost one year. Over time, my excuses created an armour, a shield of protection. Until total seclusion was acceptable, normal, and comfortable. In this mental labyrinth, life loses its meaning. In solitude lies an afflicted and needy heart, which, though accustomed to its melancholy, cries out intimately for help and for love.

How did I overcome my Depression? I do not want to be a spoiler, you should read my book to know completely, otherwise this post would look longer than it already is. But I can say that there was always an inner faith that never let me entirely give up on myself, and surprisingly it was guided Meditation, Positive Affirmations and my Writings that were also the lamps to illuminate the dark room of my mental home. That's how my book came to life - Initially as self-therapy.

 As I mentioned in the previous publication, I felt that going through my timeline was helping me to expel the emotional blocks that led me to depression. Dear ones, if you are suffering from Depression, know that it is a curable mental and affective disorder. Do not try to hide behind an unreal cape of force, nor allow dark and depressing thoughts strengthen itself, for life must continue, in spite of all the pain. So fight the pessimistic patterns of thoughts and replace them immediately with a positive one. Be aware, with what you are feeding your mind.

Believe me, there is light in the end of this tunnel, and the light is just waiting for your first steps. Please, seek help now!

Peace & love for all.

Jacqueline Sewell

www.jacquelinesewell.com 

Photo by Wil Stewart